Interviews are scary. Doesn't matter if you are are unemployed, or doing the hiring. It can be nerve racking, finding out if you measure up, or trying to size up a candidate to figure out if they will be able to do what you need. After reading books and articles on interviewing and psychology, and then through countless interviews from both sides of the table, I had the opportunity to practice and observe everything I studied.
I'll sum up a useful portion of my interviewing science in this article. Note: this is focusing on the interviewee.
Two Kinds of Interviewers
This is rather broad statement, but pretty much everybody tends to fit into 1 of two categories. Either they were trained for it, or not. Most interviewers were not trained for this. They have their position because they were promoted into it, or primarily trained as a manager, but not for hiring.
Those who are not trained, can seldom give a clear answer at the end of an interview as to why they think one candidate is better. To them, it is usually about the 'fit'. Which really just boils down to who did they get along with the most. Their past history and ability to answer questions, play a role, but numerous candidates will typically do well for that. So to the untrained interviewer, who ever is easiest to get along with, will typically be hired.
Those who are trained are walk out of the interview with a clear idea of how the candidate did and also how they compare to others. They have a list of prepared questions, but they aren't just pulled from the net. There is a specific set of rules applied to the creation of these questions. These questions have scores tied to them. While trying to "be their friend" might help a little, it doesn't play heavily here. Here you need good answers. They can often smoke out a liar, and there is little you can do about it.
How to tell the Difference
Inexperienced interviewers will often phrase situational questions as "What would you do..." where experienced ones will ask "Tell me about a time..."
What would you do? You can honestly and easily say the absolute best thing that comes to mind. Customers could yell all day and I'll calmly take care of all their needs. Not that reflects your history, but that's what you believe you could do.
Experienced interviewers will ask things like "Tell me about a time when..." The difference being that are asking about a specific point where you had to face some issue. In this case lying will change a variety of verbal and physical queues. It is easy for a trained interviewer to identify these ticks, and ask trapping questions. I.e. Don't lie. You will get caught.
How to react to an Inexperienced Interviewer
1) Don't lie.
No matter what the scenario, lying about anything in an interview is a setup for a failed work relationship. You can get caught, and often the reason to lie is to appear more experienced. When you take on work above your head, your time will be nothing but stress.
2) Mirror their body language.
Mirroring body language sends a signal to the other that in this situation, you act like they would, which implies you understand like they would, which implies you will understand them at a deeper level than someone with different gestures.
3) Use open body language.
You should mirror the interviewer, but only as much as they are open. Stress, and disinterested can close up typical body communication. Signs of closed body language include crossed arms (if you can't see the palms), crossed legs, closed fist, all things that close the muscle groups, and get you closer to a ball shape. Additionally lack of attention would show as little eye contact, feet pointing another direction, body pointing another direction, doodling. Words are about details, body language is typically about trust. You want to keep your body language open, and closely mirroring them.
4) Don't mirror their body language.
But what about 1 & 2? After you've mirrored them for a while, try leading the body language conversation. This is done by some open gesture that is different, such as leaning to one side, hand on the chin as if in thought, correcting a slouched posture. Still open, but different. You are testing the water. If they start to follow your lead, then you have their trust and interest. It is in human nature that once a positive connection is made to reinforce that connection. If they start mirroring you, you are doing well.
5) Laughter and Amazement.
If you can get them laughing, or smiling, or impressed with a solution, these are all great things. Please note, this is not accomplished by pulling a rabbit out of a hat (unless your interviewing to be a magician) or by any form of vulgarity. This is accomplished by observing the interests they lead with. This part is played more by the hip, and you'll have to gauge how best to read and respond to the room.
You'll know you did well because at the end of the interview there will be a clear feeling of success, of connection. Typically smiling, leaning in a bit during the hand shake. It doesn't mean you got the position, as they might have found someone else who is hard to deny is a better fit or a better skill resource, but you have done well.
How to react to an Experienced Interviewer
1) Be truthful.
Above others, these interviewers can often read body language better than most. You should never lie during an interview, but these interviewers will often ask questions that feel like traps, and if you are insecure, lying might feel like your only option.
2) Bad responses are ok, if you learned from them.
Consider this question, "Tell me about a time when a manager was making things very difficult." Most of us can think of a story like that. The trap is when they follow it up with "What did you do to improve the situation." Suddenly there is the realization that you need to take some responsibility. Was there anything that you did, or do you just enjoy the opportunity to complain? If you took no initiative to improve the issues, you can say that at that position, "No, I did not. However, in future positions, when faced with similar circumstances, I have ..." And do it.
You are responsible for your environment. You can mention a communication breakdown to a manager, or to their boss, if the issue is with your manager. Once you have exhausted reasonable options, and the problem still exists, you can at least say you took X actions to resolve it, but it did not work.
The trap questions are not to actually trap you. They want people who have faced difficult situations and grown from them. Don't relish in how horrible a past employer was, just be clear about the issues and what you learned from them.
3) Still follow the advice for the inexperienced interviewer.
They are using science to read you, but you can still improve the situation with positive body language.
4) Answer above and beyond the question.
Typically you will get awarded points per question. Lets say 1-5 points. 5 is usually reserved for something special. I.e. present the solution, but try to offer some unique insight, or valuable alternative.
Usually there will be extra points for something that stands out. I.e. not related to a question, just the interviewer wanted to record extra credit. Perhaps you teach this topic at a college. Perhaps you have a a valuable connection to an account they want to land. But the key is to realize you want to go above the expectations of this person to secure those extra points.
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Now this has been generalized significantly. Some interviewers will be in between, developing their skills, or trying something entirely different. But it seems most often they fall into one of these two areas. And there is always a candidate more fitting than you. And some interviews are just off, even with the right candidates. Don't let any failed interviews get you down. Learn from them and move on.
For additional reading, I recommend Victoria A. Hoevemeyer's "High Impact Interview Questions"
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